November 14, 2021

A little vent

 Its been awhile, but here we go.....


Today I feel like a  hyprocrite. I have been telling my kids their whole lives that Family is Family. I talk with all my children as much as I can wether it be on messenger, text, or in person. However the last time I spoke with my own family, it has been years. Almost 30 with one. My Brother. We last spoke when I was 8 months pregnant with my oldest. We didnt even speak at our mothers or fathers funerals or after services. I am not in the upper tax bracket. I was not invited to either his 2nd or 3rd weddings. I have not been introduced to his wife. I dont get Christmas Cards, and he didnt attend my wedding. Alot has to do with how things were handled with my mom and dad before and after they passed. My other brother I have not spoken to in years, almost 6. Ive tried to call him but his number doesnt work and I dont travel there but maybe once every 2 years, He has my number. My sister overdosed and died several years ago. I predicted it would happen. She was screwed over after mom died and more after our father. Her kids I speak to once in awhile but not often. I miss them. There are Foster Siblings. I really have nothing to do with them. They will hate to read this but most of them are too self centered and egotistical to see they have wronged anyone. Money speaks to them. I talk to a few of their children and love a few of them like they are real family. I tried to get addresses from one of them to invite to my wedding but they blew me off. Had to work that weekend. They work 2 jobs but cant take one day off to travel 1.5 hours to attend my wedding? You have known me since I was a little child. I used to babysit your kids. Thanks. Did I mention I never got a card or a Congratulations on my wedding from any of them?  Cousins. I have them. None of them could attend my wedding either. From either side of the family. I grew up with you and we went to school together, parties together but ok. 

When I had the twins, my father gifted me 2 burial plots in a cemetery, just in case. But because he didnt sign a paper, they plots had to go to probate and all parties had to agree for me to get them. Did I? No. My infant brother is buried there and now the plots my father wanted me to have are in another persons ownership. Family. 

My fathers will was re written after my mom passed. Twice. It was changed to not include me, but include Foster Siblings. Funny because my parents, brother, sister and I had had a discussion where the will was only going to include the 4 legal children. I didnt want anything but a painting and a dresser. The dresser was thrown out with a ton of my parents other items, without them even asking if I wanted anything, before the Foster Siblings divided and gave everything among themselves and their kids. I do partially blame my fathers lawyer. I believe he was coerced into things because he was starting to get forgetful. What kind of lawyer allows that to him. Apparently a Christian Lawyer does. I got nothing. Not even a penny from the estate. But, Family. So my new theory now is FUCK THEM ALL. They dont deserve my love or my loyalty. My kids do. And hopefully I pass that along to them