Problematic Porn Use

Being the partner of someone with PPU can be heartbreaking and or devastating. Nights of crying. Wondering if your good enough. Trying to understand the feeling of needing to compete with whats being viewed on the screen. I as a chubby 50 year old female, who has lost weight and is flabby in several areas, fully understands this feeling. With an ex husband and with a partner or two since who have desired to watch porn instead of have sex with me, i get it. I have nothing against porn watching once in a while. But if it takes the place or is instead of being sexually intimate with your person, there is where I have a problem.  

 Signs or symptoms of Problematic Pornography Use

A person might be having PPU if they persistently have an uncontrollable or intense urge to use pornography even when it impairs functioning or relationships.

PPU can affect each person differently. Some symptoms:   Source

• feelings of distress or guilt about pornography use
• a decrease in the quality of sexual intimacy with a partner
• reduced sexual drive when not using pornography
• reduced genital sensitivity
• delayed or reduced ability to orgasm
• pornography-induced erectile dysfunction
• delayed ejaculation
• brain fog
• feeling physically or mentally exhausted
• difficulty becoming motivated for everyday tasks
• new or worsening mental health problems, anxiety and/or depression
• problems with functioning or performance at work
• sexual violence toward other people, such as a partner

A person may also find that they focus on different stimuli when consuming pornography. For example, they may have multiple tabs open on the computer that they move between in one sitting. A person may also have an uncanny amount of external drives loaded with porn to keep the "tabs" under control on their computer or laptop. They may also have an abnormal amount of porn stored in places around their home and porn taken with previous partners that they have a problem deleting or getting rid of. 

These are just a few items to keep in mind if your sex life or you or your partners sex drive is gone or has faded away and there is porn useage by either

👄 

Lohikeitto (Finnish Salmon Soup)

This easy to make Finnish soup is delicious! 

I'm in a relationship with a man who is very proud of his Finnish culture. He has a few friends who have been making him Finnish food items, and I decided it was time to finally make my move and learn how to cook for my Finnish man. 

Lohikeitto is Finnish Salmon Soup. It really is easy to make, and the most time-consuming part is prep but even that doesn't take long. 

(unknown photo credit)

INGREDIENTS:

salt & pepper

3 tbsp butter

1 leek, thin sliced, white part only

1 med carrot, diced

5 cups seafood stock

1.5 pounds salmon, cut into cubes

3 potatoes

3/4 c heavy cream

3/4 c dill, chopped

1. Place a large pan or pot on the stove and set to medium heat/ Add the butter.

2. When butter has melted, add the leeks and cook until soft.

3. Add potatoes and carrots and mix well.

4. Add stock and bring to a boil on med heat.

5. Cook until veggies are soft and almost done. 

6. Add Salmon and cream. Stir well.

7. cover and cook for 5-8 min.

8. Season to taste with salt & pepper. Mix well.

9. Turn off heat and add Dill.

10. Serve when ready.

You can use light cream instead of heavy.

Try to keep the salmon pieces just bigger than the veggies.

Arbella Insurance and questionable practices

 *My opinion is my own and this post is my personal view and experience.

In August of 2023, I was T boned in Maine by an old lady. My car needed to have almost 5000 in repairs. Arbella covered the rental and the repairs and some of the medical bills I incurred due to the emergency room visit and after visits for Physical Therapy due to a broken arm and muscle problems.

Arbella told me my insurance would not go up since I was not at fault. This was the first lie they told me. My insurance went up 10. Not too big of a deal.

In January, I was rear ended, and that damage totaled my car. Arbella covered the inspection and rental until my car was deemed totaled. They sent my finance company a check for the balance of the car loan. I signed off on everything and the car is not in my name anymore. I went forward and purchased another car, a 2010, having Arbella insure it. I was informed that my insurance would not go up as I had purchased an older car than I had before. Again, mis truth. My insurance went up 10 again.

Now, I had called Arbella twice and twice told that my original car, a 2011, was going to be taken off my insurance and I would be all set. I would only need to pay on the one car. I DO NOT HAVE THE 2011 CAR. It was totaled and paid off. Its somewhere in a demolition yard. Today, I read my email and see that my insurance is up for cancellation and both cars are still on my policy. They say due to nonpayment.

Here's the thing. I paid my policy. The original amount I was told to by both agents I spoke to. Now I am being told to pay almost 3x what my policy payment should be to keep from being canceled. 

Apparently, this has happened to several others. Arbella is part of the AAA network of insurers. Trying to get ahold of someone to help has been a nightmare.