Disciplining other people’s children can be awkward.
What if you observe a child misbehaving, and their parent is observing the same behavior, but doing nothing about it? How should you react?
Don’t allow it to continue. You could say, “In our house we…” and review the rule. You could also do the two-rule, that is, describe your house rules, and also add “You two look like you need a break from one another.”*
This was advise I read online somewhere this past week. It was in an article with a doctor who specialized in childrens behavior.
I am not that calm of a person with my own kids, but I have the patience of a soon to be saint when dealing with others kids. But even I have my limits. In our home.
In our home, when friends are over, if my child misbehaves I deal with it. In front of their friend(s). It doesn't bother me. I'm have been known to send kids home because my own child was bad or mean.
I am also known for sending kids home after they misbehave or are horrid at our home. Once your kids are in my yard or my home, I feel I should be able to discipline them as I see fit. I may separate them from my kids, but I will also ban them from inside for a bit. I might send them home before I treat them like I do my own. I wont spank them or swear at them but I will use a tone in my voice that can make then quiver!
I'm ok with another parent discipline my kids. Not spank them or anything but put them in a time out or send them home. I'm not gonna blow up with anger. I'll normally say "Thanks!" I have gotten calls at home from other moms telling my what my child(ren) had been doing and I've thanked them and made sure that behavior stopped and my kids have had to apologize.
That's my opinion.
When I was growing up, every parent in my neighborhood worked together to make sure we all behaved. Every parent had every other parents phone number and more than once my parents got a call from another parent ratting me out! Once I even heard a mom yell to my friend "Wait till you get home Kelly-Ann! I've talked to your mom already!"
So here's my question:
In this day and age is it really ever ok to discipline someone elses kid?
It depends on the relationship you have with the parents. A stranger, no. But someone who you hang out with on a regular basis - they'll probably appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteI guess it depends on what kind of discipline. I will step in with a friend's child if they're about to do something dangerous OR if they're teaching my kid something I don't want him to do. I will usually just say, "My son isn't allowed to do that." This usually makes my kid say, "Why is he allowed to do it?" and I can then make a pointed comment and say, "It's up to HIS mommy and daddy what he does." That usually alerts the other parent that something is wrong, and I've had good luck that they step in at that point. Lol.
ReplyDeleteI would never let anyone yell at, spank or punish my child, though. If I'm not around (which doesn't really happen), I don't mind if they separate my son until I get there, but I'd not be happy if they instilled any other punishment on him as we have our own system.
But I think people who are around other's children need to be vigilant with theirs.
I think it's better to just tell them that you don't normally approve of this or that. It's hard to impose on other people's parenting style.
ReplyDeleteThis is one such complicated & sensitive topic which usually has worried & irritated me a lot most times as I face it mostly within my family & friends. Only based on how close they are to me, I tend to do something or else I just stay patient as it wont help much.
ReplyDeleteBoy is this tricky! In today's world, it's a line that's not often crossed, but it would depend on whether there was a relationship of some sort there.
ReplyDeleteWe've been debating this lately in our own household. As of now, we've decided to ask children and parents to leave when we aren't comfortable with their behavior.
ReplyDelete